Stale...

Everything is old like a stale piece of bread filled with green creepy bacteria

Funny mummy #1

She was watching some show...

M : what's protein in Chinese?  白痴?
L : huh?
M : protein...what chi?
L: 蛋白质
M : 白痴?
L : not 白痴 la...蛋白质...
M : ohhhhh

Hahaha 

Crappy boss #4

A : U need to take selfie ah?

D : ya

A : I help u take? (Picture of toy)

D : don't need la

A : u go to the back and use it as a background and take la...

D : any requirements?

A : don't have. But u need the background with the lines with the height...then u need to hold a piece of paper. Don't need the striped clothes la...

Crappy boss #3

C - ask u ah
       (Question)

A - 1 question $10

C - I got 3 toys here (kidnapped his toys earlier)

A - they are not toys

C - they are toys! Soft toys

Crappy boss #2

A: Got downgraded to sofa...

A: Next move would be to Chinatown bridge

B: u move to Chinatown bridge, I move to London Bridge

A: u sure u want to move to London Bridge?  I been telling my baby that it's falling down

B: then move to tower bridge lor

A: anyone want to volunteer to go Woodbridge ?

C: no thanks. U can go la

A: I know my name got 2 wood la...

B: u go la, then we will visit u

A: can visit..just don't bring beer. Can bring ice cream chocolate 7-up  and canned fruits

C: I bring u chestnut, dragon fruits and mango

A: then don't come

C: I bring u seohyun poster too la

C: and also the care bears from ur table

B: his table got care bear meh?

A: told u yesterday can claim for glasses leh

Crappy boss #1

Banana got disease...then it's a big issue!!

The price of pajamas would go up.
The demand of pajamas would go down.

Especially the striped pajamas with collar.
Blue and white strip...

All pajamas would be ok, just that particular one would be affected

Interesting question #1

If you eat 1 kg of food and weigh yourself straight away, do you get 1 kg heavier?

Bangkokkkkkk

As with all travels. You plan and plan and when you get there, all plans are thrown out of the window!

Well, for my trip, we threw some plans out but kept majority of it... (shows how good my plan is for us to stick to it:))

Day 1:
Reached bangkok, first thing all modern days people do, buy Sim card (we all can't live with our phone haha)
Then saw the messy queue for the taxi and just join in, then my friend went to see how does the queue work, then we somehow jumped queue (ignore the possible stares and all and just pretend we are right)

Go hotel, throw everything there, take some $$ and out we go!! Walk from one end to the other end of siam square "pasar malam" and we just research on how much things roughly cost....

Day 2:
Shopping day!!! Don't we all girls love it?

Went to pratunum (don't think we actually got the right place but oh well..........) and platinum mall...
(Well nothing much to say besides we have put our pitiful look, fierce look and strong front up and managed to cut some money off the price)

Went to Big C (supermarket), found the luk chap that diana was eyeing for it and she spotted it from far and beeline to it..haha

Go back hotel..rest our tired feet then go to Terminal 21. It's an expensive shopping mall for our taste but the concept is interesting.  We only go there for taking photos and eating our dinner there

Day 3:
Chatuchak!!!!

It's a maze but nothing interesting that we haven't seen, besides........

COCONUT ICE CREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

It's something that not only taste great but it's perfect for a hot weather...

Hotel again (we are quite a slacker haha) then massage at tak massage (popular place!! It's packed from ground floor all the way to third floor!! The cracked all the bones and pressed all the "knots" on your shoulder which is what office workers need!)

Dinner at inter restaurant was great. Prices reasonable and it's better than the food we ate at terminal 21 (food court). Walked round siam square and surprisingly, we managed to find more stomach space for mango smoothie from mango tango!!

Day 4:
We realised that on Sundays,  shops don't open that early. After all the search for daiso the whole night on day 3, whilst walking we just found out it's like right in front of us!! (*face palm*) isn't exactly the same as SGD 2 daiso in Singapore.. It isn't fixed price across the shop and selection wasn't great

Before going back hotel, we managed to try after you french toast!! It was great (a bit too buttery for my taste...) after ordering, we were regretting that we should try other flavours and get mini ones so we can try 2 flavours. ..(oh well...lesson learnt)

It was a great first and last (not exactly) trip for diana and I. We didn't kill each other at the end of the trip nor in the middle of the trip :)) I guess our chin chai character is good for traveling...

5 principles you MUST/SHOULD follow at work/school

1. DO NOT show your temper...especially to your teacher/boss (unless you are buddy with them...but still....don't. Not advisable)

2. Even if you are angry, ALWAYS do a good job (so that the people who are waiting to see you fail won't ever get a chance)

3. DO accept constructive criticisms. (They always got things to say but if what they say are rubbish or doesn't add value to you, ignore them)

4. Be as straight as an arrow. (Playing office politics or being teacher's  pet has their advantages but they don't make you a better worker. Let the work speak for you not your mouth)

5. Shut up and listen and say "yes" regardless (when people say anything. Good or bad. Just listen. If they always have things to say but if you give any comments, they could say you are being a smart Alec or they would say you are rude. So best solution, keep quiet)

5 things that attract people to music

1. It sends me to sleep (inner peace ... hummmmmmmm)

2. It makes me wake up (obviously noisy enough...rawrrrr)

3. The lyrics bring me tears and all sorts of memories (throw away the song if it keep reminding you of horrible memories)

4. The tune is great (can dance to it!!)

5. What music? I don't listen to any!

5 thoughts when you are bored/lonely

1. Nothing to do!!!!! Make the time move faster (well you could just manually change the clock hands...but the time actually has not moved)

2. Why do I have no friends? (Friends = outings = spending time = spending money = getting sad = getting poor)

3. Why do I have no boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife?? (Same as friends... gf/bf/husband/wife = spend time = happy = eating at restaurants = giving presents for all sorts of occasions/no occasions = spend more...)

4. What's there to do? (Walk around, measure the room, go toilet, count the ants running around)

5. Maybe I should take up a sport/activity/volunteer my time?? (Make more friends, maybe find a partner there...)

Top grumbles when going from the UK to SG

So...For the fellow returning students, I feel your pain....

1. Why do people walk so slow??
Sg: Group of friends of more than 2 walking in a straight row and blocking all paths...arghh move it and move aside!!

2. why are groceries so expensive??
(If you eat out in the UK, this is not applicable to you)
(myth : uk is expensive!! Well it is true if you eat out but it isn't true if you can cook)

3. Why are places in Singapore so far away and inaccessible??
UK: there are buses that follows the timetables. alternatively, you can walk. Weather is great for walking!!
Sg: Yes singapore has buses too, just that they don't  follow the timetable

4. Why is the weather so crappy??
UK: has 4 seasons which is great!!! You can take all your winter wear and go there and have fashion show!! All the high boots, scarves, beanies, hoodies, etc!!)
Sg: hot or wet

5. why are people so rude?
Sg: Try ACCIDENTALLY walking into a person. Or ACCIDENTALLY allowing someone to walk into you. And be ready to get a stare...even if it is not your fault or even if you apologise after that, you will still get a stare

6. Why are people so inconsiderate?
Sg: A row of 6 doors into a building, people rush and queue to get through 1 of the doors which is already open..
UK: you open a door and you will hold onto it for the next person and they will thank you. (Do that in Singapore and they will just walk through)

7. Sports in Singapore are so expensive and far away? (Disregarding futsal, basketball and badminton, the exotic sports like archery, rowing, sailing, etc are so far and they are expensive!!!)

8. Why are clothes so expensive in Singapore??
Sg: Singapore might have sales. Ya they probably up the price then give u a discount..which is still expensive! And they use catch phrase like "FROM 20%"...yup. not very helpful. Tsk
(price of cheap clothes in Singapore SGD 20. Price of cheap clothes in UK  GBP 5)

9. Why are transportation so expensive??
What you pay for a car in the UK is probably not even enough to pay for the COE in Singapore.  Which is essentially just a piece of paper allowing you to buy a car in the first place...

10. Why are local treated not as good as foreigners?
Sg: We have an interesting phenomenon where the companies and government treats foreigners better than their own local people. Whilst locals are treated like 2nd class citizens.
UK: It's usual to treat the foreigners like 2nd class citizens which is what a country would rightfully do, to protect their local people, for jobs and housing.

Well we all have a lot of complains but we can only make do with what we have.

Top 10 thoughts about Valentine's Day

So today is the "dreaded" day for singles...Their thoughts as the day is near:

1. I should go to a bar/club to pick up a guy/girl

2. Curse you happily attached people.............

3. Let's do a big makeover..maybe my chance of having a girlfriend or boyfriend would increase...wait, let me check if my salary/pocket money is in yet (remember to do #1 after this)

4. Noooooo!!!!!I'm gonna be single my whole lifeeeeeeee .....let me buy a house, prewarn my parents, save loads of money and prepare myself for being left on the shelf

5. Oh well, my time will come next year...try again next year..

6. I'm happy being single...no need to spend money, no one to nag at me, don't need to dress up...

7. I should stay home today, the restaurants are gonna be super expensive...

8. Guys/girls? Who needs them? I just need my movies and chocolates and a bottle of wine

9. I wonder how these people find their partners.... would they tell me if I asked them?

10. Why is there even a valentine's day??? Make it go away!!! I'm gonna sleep through it...

The market is bad

The fishes aren't selling
The veggies are expensive
The meat are pretty much non existent

We should all just eat air..

Joking. As usual.

My mid week

Well to summarise my mid week.

Went in.
Drank caffeine to keep the eye lids from shutting.
Called in to dragon's den
Survived that
Come out and deal with the real dragon
Who was bearing it teeth to a headless chicken
Do more endless aimless running
Food. Finally
Chomp chomp chomp
Watch shows till eyes pop out
Murdered some electronic paper
Decided to turn to my long term dream of being a barista.
Then decided I suck at it and it takes too long
Back to reality.
Move on to killing trees instead
And drinking squid ink as well
The machine decided to act up and throw a tantrum
Keep getting constipation
Decided to get the doctor to fix it
Means I had to attack the other machine 
Finger cross it doesn't have constipation
6.
Drinks.
Cooked lobster
Awkward situation.
Home 
Stuff my mouth like a chipmunk
Time to be a superhero
In my other world.

5 things to look for when stress...

1. M&m (mint/peanut/almond/plain/peanut butter/pretzel...)(warning. Expensive and addictive)

2. Smarties (Help to make you smarter)(Warning.  No guarantee of working)

3. Stress ball (it absorbs your stress) (warning.  You need a stress ball for your stress ball. They need to pass on their stress too)

4. Music (linkin park..especially the first few cds with the screaming and all) (warning. Too much music might get you scolded..plus you might get a shock from the sudden screaming)

5. Toilet (well you might just need to relieve yourself)(warning. Toilet might not be widely available. Last resort, bottle?)

Unusual female traits

Well there are minorities who differs from the modern day norm...and this is how you identify them :

No geisha makeup
No mop on head (either exceptionally straight or properly curled)
No shoes that help train calf muscles (no idea whether guys like girls with thick calf muscles..but the shoes help to grow that)
No handbags that trains one arm bicep (note. It's only one arm...unless the arms are trained equally)
No exceptionally big eyes (either naturally born with them or drawn to look almost panda like)
No corsets that prevent breathing
No clothes that makes one feed on air to get by the day
No rabbit food
No expensive-flowers-that-only-last-a-few-days-but-cost-at-least-1-month-of-economy-rice-lunch in hands (don't appreciate them or  are being practical. Money can be spend on other stuff)
No colour nails (with bling and add on which make them just sit there after a meal. Because they can't wash dishes)
No one-or-two-months-worth bags that are a weapon of choice when going into a crowded area (use bag or trained arm to hit people..and stare when other look at you for hitting them)

As much as they might not be the modern day norm, they could be mini rich woman because of the money they saved on these stuff. Of course they might not be the prettiest to show your friends and family but they could be the prettiest on the inside..

How to be a pet

Deal with teachers / boss the same way :

Fly around them like a bee. Just don't sting them.
Buy them breakfast, lunch, dinner (collect money unless you are feeling rich)
Serve them coffee, tea, water (just don't serve yourself. Unless you can fit into a cup)
Do your work sloppily to get 100% of their attention
Or you can work diligently and be ignored (because they tend to ignore the diligent but focus on the rebellious)
Sit on floor, table, on their lap (as long as it isn't the chair, you will get their attention somehow)
Walk slow because if you walk fast, they will miss you and they won't be bothered to run to catch up with you
Prepare a dictionary of the cheesiest lines you can think of so that you can clog their arteries and make them like u like they like fast food
Compliment everything single thing about them. Their language. Their grammar. Their wardrobe. Their car. Their hair. Their eyes. Their shoes. Everything you can see, just compliment it.
Report to them once you see them coming in. Go in front of them and wag your tail and stand there till they give you your treat.

Well not all teachers and bosses like this method. Apply appropriate amount of the above for best response.

Dealing with work ..

You will feel a plateau in your work every now and then.
So what to do?

Find another new incline to climb
Look at the sheep and cows along the way
Stare at the endless horizon whilst at the top of the hill
Sit on a rock and plan your route up a higher peak
Find a friend on the hill and push each other up

If all the above fail, decide when is a good time to descend from the hill. You have seen enough and it's time to find another hill to climb.

Good luck

You walk very slow

If I walk slow, you must be a centipede. Lot of short legs...

And I'm a giraffe..4 long legs..

Now. Who walk slow??

If you don't feel it, fake it

I don't feel like going to work/school

Why?

No motivation (like real). I got tons of motivation!! Very enthusiastic !! Wheeeeeee !!!

OK. Just fake it till you make it!! Now get back to work

Crossy road

Wait...I'm helping my animals cross the road...

You can't even cross the road and you want to help the animal cross the roads??

Did you slay any dragons at work today?

Nope.

Didn't slay any dragons but killed some cows and pigs today.

And they are making friends with each other in my tummy now...

Yummy:))

When the day is going wrong...

Think that everyday is rainbow day with unicorns flying around.
You might find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
Then you might see lala, po, tinky winky and dipsy dancing around the sun with a baby on it

if all things doesn't work, turn them into a mice like the witches. Just don't let them know it is you. If they do find out, throw them a giant peach and flatten them.

252738839161 thoughts when dealing with people who step on your tail

For the people who step on your tail, think of the following :

Wish the other party(ies)...

forget your keys
step on dog poo
get bird shit on you
forget your ezlink card
dogs barks at you
see a black cat stare at you
get food stain on your white clothes
forget your wallet
no hot water when bathing halfway
the food you are eating isn't nice to eat
miss the bus
miss the train
all the traffic lights don't work in your favour
shoes open mouth when they go out

WELL...as much as this seems like cursing the people...It probably doesn't work...